August 15, 2024, he performed the song on COLORS, a well-known music platform in the soul and R&B scene… and it was breathtaking.
Montell Fish, real name Montell Frazier, is known primarily as a Christian artist. He draws inspiration heavily from his faith when creating music, his pure devotion phrased like lyrics of a love ballad. Songs like “Crumble,” whose lyrics are doting and unshakeable in their disposition, are ones I love even as someone who ascribes to a different faith.
“Don’t You Love Me?” is another beast entirely.
The chorus wastes no time, coming in desperate and swinging before anything else can take stage. The lyrics have a hint of something wavering, and Frazier’s voice tells me he’s on his knees:
“Know I get crazy / But don’t you love me anyway? /
And I know I frustrate you / But don’t you love me anyway?”
Like most of the music I love the most, this track found me at the perfect time.
Truthfully, that’s probably why I find it so moving: communication in my own relationship with the Divine exists substantially through sound.
So to come across a song that captures a familiar struggle so eloquently is truly special, especially if it’s not authored by someone with the same beliefs.
Also like many of the songs I hold closest to my heart, “Don’t You Love Me?” is relatively uncomplicated and somewhat repetitive, only breaking the prayer for a bridge in between; the devotion is apparent, however unadorned the track may sound.
After I’ve had it on loop for an hour or two, the song becomes a chant, of despair, of fear, and of faith in something unknown, but only because there is nowhere else to go.
"Anxiety" by Mariana Zanatta. Uploaded to Flickr licensed CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
Ever experienced that jittery feeling where your legs shake and your hands tremble so much it could be mistaken for Parkinson’s? Accompanied by a sudden chill you feel despite sweating buckets?
No, it’s not public speaking, coming off a high or confessing your undying love to someone who doesn’t spare you a second glance.
It’s good old-fashioned test anxiety.
Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit. Or a lot. But you get the idea. Test Anxiety affects everyone— from the most studious students to the least.
We are only four weeks into the semester, so what’s this about test anxiety?
With first exams around the corner, the season of test anxiety begins. I speak from experience because, just this Thursday, I had my first exam in my Astronomy class.
I had prepared well enough for the exam but still, I couldn’t shake off the dreadful feeling. So, I rushed to a nearby coffee shop. I got myself an iced caramel latte (it somehow reduces my jitters) before heading to class.
Wanna guess how the exam went? It was easy. And that made me mad. Why? Because I had spent the whole week stressing about it. I probably slept less than four hours the night before, just to make sure I covered every single detail.
I had spent 72+ hours stressing over an exam that was over in twenty minutes. It didn’t feel fair. But who knows—- maybe it was thanks to my paranoia that the test seemed so simple.
"Mexico" by peipp. Uploaded to DeviantArt licensed CC BY-NC-ND 3.0.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/deed.en
Onism is a word coined by author and poet John Konieg that refers to the bitter realization of how little of the world you will ever truly experience.
Sadly, with the thousands of cultures alive today, most of us will only be a part of one, or perhaps a few if we are lucky.
Driven by this realization, I’ve embarked on a journey to immerse myself in as many cultures as humanly possible. What better way to do so than through a medium similar across every culture–Music.
Today, this journey takes us to the vibrant and colorful heart of Mexico.
Feliz Día de la Independencia, México (Happy Indepenedence Day, Mexico).
What do you know about Mexico?
Mexico, the 13th largest country by area and 10th most populated country in the world is located in the southern part of North America. Thanks to its significant trade relationship with the U.S. and the large Mexican-American population, the Mexican culture is undoubtedly one of the more accessible and influential cultures for us to appreciate.
Cover for "Marie / Chronicles of a needful being" by Theatre's Kiss
German darkwave artist Theatre’s Kiss has once again cultivated an astoundingly gothic post-punk album. Let’s talk about it.
An Artificer of Atmosphere
Since I first stumbled upon Theatre’s Kiss in 2020, I’ve remained entranced by their atmospheric melancholia.
Everything about the musical project is intentional, from its black metal-inspired aesthesis to its esoteric lyricism. While separate albums retain a distinct “vibe,” there’s a characteristic Theatre’s Kiss flair throughout — a flair for the enigmatic, emotional and elaborate.
Logo for the artist Theatre’s Kiss
“It’s all about atmosphere,” is the artist’s adage. “Nothing else matters.”
It’s clear that the project, headed by the corpse-painted Fassse Lua, comes from the heart. And its newest installment is no exception.
Suppress Your Memories
“Marie / Chronicles of a needful being,” is the official second chapter of the Theater’s Kiss musical universe and, according to Fassse Lua, a passion project.
Described as a tribute to The Cure — specifically the album “Faith” — “Marie” is about “the fear of being alone and dealing with yourself.”
The story of “Marie,” a character teased in the March EP “II,” is that of a girl’s descent into addiction.
“From that moment on,” Fassse Lua says in an Instagram post, “there’s no turning back. In her addiction, she longs for the moments that allow her to forget everything.”
This idea comes to the forefront with the album’s first track, “Fluch,” or “Curse.”
Into the day Masquerade mode on Routines that push me into…
Inhale the death
Supress your memories Embrace the agony
“Fluch” by Theatre’s Kiss
What I find interesting about this release, as opposed to albums like “Self-Titled” and “Liedensmeloiden,” is the volume of information presented to the audience.
I’ve always been intrigued by the mysterious and borderline-elusive nature of Fassse-Lua, the unnamed — and basically un-faced — progenitor of such trancingly woeful beats.
For the most part, the audience is expected to infer the meaning behind various tracks.
For “Marie,” however, we’re granted not just context, but a storyline. And for me, that completely transforms the listening experience.
Endless Sorrow
Constructed so as to give the impression of a single, continuous song, “Marie” represents a waxxing and waning of misery as the album’s titular character struggles to reconcile with her declining mental health.
Some tracks are moody, laden with drums and despondent strings (“Pillows of Repression”) while others are light and airy, reminiscent of the soft sadness seen in “Self-Titled” (“Numb”).
The more prevalent use of drums also gives the album a distinct post-punk edge, as opposed to the darkwave vibes of earlier projects.
Reading through each song’s lyrics adds another layer of intrigue. For example, we learn in “Peer Pressure” that it was Marie’s romantic partner who served as her entrypoint into drug use.
Our first try ruined everything
We gave up on ourselves We thought of nobody else What we had in common was the painful urge
“Peer Pressure” by Theatre’s Kiss
There’s simply so much to talk about with this album. To avoid writing a dissertation, I’ll finish with an assessment of my favorite track off the album: “Deceased Dreams.”
Alternating between jangly, ethereal energy and the utterly dour, “Deceased Dreams” represents the sudden crush of hard-hitting reality. But rather than deliver a barrage of punches, it presents an esoteric dance.
What I really love about this track is its sudden deluge into German — the first instance of its kind across the span of Theatre’s Kiss — and the perfectly sweet vocals of Fassse Lua to go along with it.
Final Thoughts
While I’m not sure “Marie” is my favorite project by Theatre’s Kiss, it’s certainly the most interesting.
The album’s development of a diegesis through lyricism and imagery is exciting in a way not many artists can deliver.
I find myself playing detective, piecing together bits of information to try and uncover the bigger picture. Perhaps that was Lua’s intention, or perhaps the true enigma of “Marie” comes from its personal roots.
Either way, I look forward to traversing more of this lyrical world.
