You’ll Never Believe Me But… is a lighthearted storytelling podcast about what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s funny. Guests come on and tell two stories, one real one fake, and laugh and joke about it with host Cutter as they enjoy storytelling while he tries to figure out which story is the real one.
FULL TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE
Provided by Otter.ai
Cutter 0:00
Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening everyone. My name is Cutter, though you may know me as Three Bears in a Coat on-air on HD-1, and welcome to the very first episode of, “You’ll never believe me, but…”. “You’ll never believe me, but…” is a new podcast being produced here at WKNC. And since it’s new, I’m going to break down with all of you what it is what it will sound like and what you can expect moving forward. “You’ll never believe me, but…” is a storytelling podcast. Every week, I’ll have on to a new guest and they will tell me two stories, one of them real, and one of them fake. And the ultimate goal after some laughing and some having a good time, I’m not going to make it super rigid. I don’t want them to just tell me two stories statically and then ask questions. So I’m going to butt in, we’re going to joke around. But the ultimate goal is that after they tell me these two stories, that I will have to guess which of them is real, and which of them is fake, they will of course reveal after that. And that should spark some fun conversation. So with that out of the way, let me get the housekeeping stuff done before we jump into my own two stories that I’m going to tell here on this episode. So that every episode when I have guests on, they can guess which of my two stories is real and fake, this housekeeping stuff will go over at the top of every episode for any new listeners. But we’re all new listeners today. So I figured I’ll go over it in-depth now.
Cutter 1:29
So for the structure for what each episode is going to look like, I’m gonna bring on a guest, I’m going to introduce them, and we’re gonna have a quick conversation about who they are, what they do. And then I’ll have them launch into their first of their two stories. Again, like I said, it’s not just pure storytelling with no jokes or no butting in, it will be a good time. It’ll be personal. It’ll be fun. And then we’ll have a brief recap. We’ll laugh about it. Before we do the exact same thing with the second story. After we go over that one, we I will ask some questions and make my conviction as to which of the two of them is true. They’ll tell me if I’m right, if I’m wrong, hopefully I’m more right than wrong. And then that should spark some fun conversation about what does that mean for the true story? And what does that mean? Where do they come up with the fake story? Then we will take a pause and I will let them listen to my two stories that I’m going to tell right here right now on this very first episode of this podcast, we’ll get to laugh about it. We’ll come back on the mic. And you’ll get to hear their reaction, their questions, and then we will have them make their guess but I will not reveal it until the end of the season when we have a nice little recap to tie everything together. because that’d be no fun. Because then someone could listen to that episode, come on, and then be right. That’s pretty lame, then I will thank the guests and we will segue out. That is all for our structure.
Cutter 2:46
Our rules. We only have three rules here. And you’ll never believe me, but and they’re all pretty simple. Number one, your story should not do significant damage to someone or their character. I feel like this is pretty obvious. We’re not trying to be extraordinarily mean here. And the story that I tell is going to be either disparaging to me or no one. Rule number two, if someone else is featured in the story, you must either have their consent to say their name, or use a fake name, you agreed to come on this podcast and tell the stories, they did not agree to have the story told so unless you get consent from them just use a fake name. It’ll make everything a lot easier. And I think it will make everyone a little bit more comfortable. And rule number three, the final rule on the podcast and this one should be pretty easy to remember. All stories must start with You’ll never believe me, but and then a brief synopsis before starting the story. So if your story is about that one time, the mall flooded while you were there and you had to swim out to your car. Your story would start with You’ll never believe me. But one time the mall flooded and I had to swim out to my car. Pretty simple. Sounds good. Great.
Cutter 3:49
Let’s get into my first story. You’ll never believe me. But during finals week, I knew someone who broke his hand late at night. And I had to drive him to the hospital the night before an exam. So Justin lived a few doors down from me and I do want to say this off the rip. Right? He’s fine. He’s okay. Everything ended up being alright. And I do want to I want to preface with that. Okay, now I can get into it. Justin, we’ll call him Justin. He lived a few doors down from me. And I got a call late one night. I want to say it was like Tuesday night during finals week. It was the night before my econ exam. And he calls me which is weird. He never calls me and I was still awake. I was finishing up some studying. I was doing some last minute cramming, which I know is like not the best for my econ final the next afternoon. And he calls me and I pick up the phone. I’m like, hey, Justin, what’s up? He is. Oh, it’s hes a little little paniced, right a little more paniced than I can do justice but he goes Oh, can you come to my room real quick. I think I need help. I kind of messed up my hand and I was like Oh crap. Okay, yeah, absolutely hang up on him and run you know, however many doors like three doors down and throw open the door luckily it’s unlocked because he’s in there in his hand is like under neath. So we have blinds in all the dorms at state. And he’d managed somehow to he was like closing the blinds or changing them around or opening them or something. And he had managed to, in pulling on the string had pulled down the entire metal box attached to the top of the window onto his hand. Right. And it had landed on his hand, even from from just like a few minutes in there, you can tell that it was not the greatest there was a little bit of blood, and I was like, oh, okay, kind of starting to panic, right go into, let me help you, let me take care of you mode.
Cutter 5:50
I immediately go over and help them lift it off, because you can’t really lift it off with with the hand that’s being crushed. And he doesn’t quite have enough with the other hand, so I go over there, I help them lift them off. And run back to my room, I have a first aid kit in my room. And I go back and I’m you know, using like gauze and bandages and all that just to make sure that it’s not bleeding profusely out, right. And so I’m like, Okay, let’s just take this, you know, I’m trying to keep a calm demeanor, of course, I’m panicking, but he’s the guy with the crushed hands. So I can’t really, you know, say too much. And so I’m like, Okay, let’s, you know, take care of this, we’ll be all right. And, you know, he’s saying, oh, it doesn’t hurt too bad. And I’m like, okay, maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, but either way, you know, still just trying to make sure that everything’s okay. And we call apparently, as we found out, um, because I did a quick Google search because I was curious. NC State University has a like little injury hotline thing. And so we called that. And they basically said, Hey, just go to the nearest urgent care, and they give us the address, they just I just go to the urgent care. can’t really do much over the phone can’t really do muc…