Late last week I sent an email out to the WKNC staff to ask them to tell me what their grievances in music are. It’s not quite Festivus yet, but as the school year starts and stress starts to build up, I thought now would be an appropriate time. I left things pretty open. The idea was simple. All they needed to do was send me any pet peeve they had in the music world. From fans, to artists, and everything in between, I received a little bit of everything. Out of all the emails that I have sent to our good-looking staff, this one warranted the greatest response. Below are the musical pet peeves in order that I received them.

Do you have a musical pet peeve? Air your grievances in the comment section below.

La Barba Rossa: Down with the hippie twirl!

DJ Stutterz: People who squeeze in front of you at a show like they are moving and then stand two feet in front of you the whole show. Also people who obnoxiously yell cover song titles in hopes of them being played. People at electronic shows who are more concerned with their glowsticks, glowing/flashing light things, fairy wings then they are with the actual music. I understand that it’s fun to dress up and all but I hate it when there is more focus on the guy twirling a glowstick ball then there is the actual music.

R. Cory Smith: I cannot stand sirens in music. Like that sh*t at the beginning of Drake and Lil Wayne songs. God, that’s awful.

Kyle “El Generalissimo” Robb: When people use “techno” as a blanket term for all electronic music. That 8 foot tall guy at every show who always seems to stake out a spot directly in front of you. You can try leaning to one side, but his subconscious ESP will tell him he needs to lean the same direction.

The Cosmic Cowboy: My pet peeve: the genre of music dubstep.

Mason: Anybody who craps on music on the simple merit that it’s “too mainstream.” At WKNC, we play different music because it’s an opportunity we have as a non-commercial station. We don’t have to worry about corporate giants standing over our shoulders wagging money in our faces. It’s not like all main-stream music is horrible… only some of it is. Music snobbery drives me insane. Just because music doesn’t fit our particular daytime format doesn’t mean that a person who listens to it is an idiot. PS, I freaking love Beyoncé’s new album, Brittney’s ‘new’ album, and Kanye West. I’ve also recently begun to enjoy (I’m behind the times) TLC and Mariah Carey. There is nothing wrong with me. I just appreciate good classics and respect pop hooks from heaven.

Cannibal Cory: I hate it when I listen to a death metal song and can’t eat people at the same time.

Dr. J: My musical pet peeve would be people who, in my opinion, think it’s cool to think Johnny Cash is cool. What do they know about Johnny Cash? I’ve listened to Johnny Cash my entire life. Name me six Johnny Cash songs, poser.

.jose jose.: I hate it when people talk sh*t about an artist during the show and then go tell them how much they loved it afterwards.

Cioffi: Scorpions.

One Cool Dude: When people say, “I listen to everything but rap and country.”

DJ Shorty Fernarnar: Anytime you go to a concert for your favorite band, and the person sitting next to you doesn’t even listen to the band, they’re just going to go. So, they act obnoxious and disrespectful while you’re trying to listen to your favorite tunes.

Emmaroo: Not to bash on musicians, but could they please stop creating epic buildups that make me want to pee my pants with anticipation and then present a mediocre “hook” of no musical merit. Or who have such a great start to end with an inconsequential chorus. Just to throw some bands under the bus: Foals, After Glow and one Andrew Bird Song the name of which escapes me right now. I think it’s from Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs? I can’t remember but it pisses me off. Also when people ask if I’ve heard of a fairly mainstream band and when I say no instead of going “oh it’s awesome! you should listen, you’ll enjoy it” they make a face and utter something along the lines of “where have you been?” or “are you kidding me how have you not heard them?!”.  If you’re that surprised I haven’t heard of the band then just assume I have and don’t ask.

Mollypop: Off beat clapping. Like, I understand you’re excited. I understand you’re drunk. But there is NO NEED to clap when 1) the band hasn’t encouraged the clapping and 2) when you’re off-beat. F**kers.

DJ Saber: Tweeted this as it happened today in class because it really irks me when people blast their music through their headphones IN A DEAD SILENT AREA. Of course I love music, but not when it’s squeezed out of someone else’s ear bud. The result is comparable to screaming child who won’t calm their sh*t. It’s a terrible noise. It’s completely unnecessary to turn your music up on full blast in a quiet place.

Shorty Shorts: Long car rides, like a hour or more, of someone’s musical taste imposed on me (if I don’t like it, of course).  I love the music I listen to, but I like to be conscious enough not to make others listen to it if they don’t want to.  Sure, taste in music is subjective. I get that, and I don’t care what you listen to, but if you make me listen to it… for an extended amount of time… I’ll hate you.

The Voice of Reason: If I go to a show, I dread seeing folks stand about like the sedated undead. It happens so often as to not be a pet peeve anymore, but it’s disheartening to bop around while folks shuffle their feet like having fun is a felony.

Psychonaut: Bands who save their best songs for the encore. Not that I don’t enjoy hearing those songs, but because it invalidates the whole idea of the encore. An encore is supposed to be for a band that does a great job and entertains the crowd enough that they want more and more. Instead, they’ve become a farce where it’s essentially the band just taking a break and enjoying a forced round of applause and cheering from the crowd.

DJ Bunch: People who keep moshing during a slow breakdown. Give it a rest for 30 seconds, douche! Also, fat people who try to crowd surf (particularly when the crowd has a disproportionate amount of rail-thin teenagers).

Filthy Rich: Ke$ha. In addition to Ke$ha, another one of my pet peeves is when I’m at a show and people in the crowd start shooting video with their phones. Not only are they waving their arms an inch away from my head and obstructing the view of the stage, they’re not really focusing on the show if they’re concentrating on making a shitty video. Then, that shitty video will end up on YouTube as a noisy blur that doesn’t do the band justice. (Unless, of course, it’s Ke$ha.)

DJ Bullcity: Dubstep fanboys that spend twice as much time analyzing dubstep, where it came from, and what qualifies as dubstep, then actually listening to it.

DJ LiViD: When people whistle to a song.

DJ Dylan-ger: When you specifically make a party playlist of seven hours of music to play off your iPod speakers, and then someone comes along and changes it to Lil Wayne, or any other music you could hear at ANY party but your own. And when you try to change it back: “No one knows your music!” Shut up and enjoy my jams I handpicked just for you.

DJ Elly May: I hate when I tell someone specifically that I love a song on the radio in the car and turn it up and then they proceed to talk over it. Helloooo! Shut up!

Captain SKAmerica: Just because you prefer a band’s older material, you are automatically referred to as a hipster. Also that one girl at every punk and ska show that stands at the front in the mosh pit and gets mad when people run into her. If you’re in the pit, you’re gonna get hit. Get it through your head.

Adam Kincaid: Bands, especially local bands, who think they are “too popular” for our station. F**k you. If we can have half of the national touring acts we do come in for interviews you can drag your ass five minutes down the road for a chat once a year. Especially if you owe your local popularity to WKNC’s programming. Our LOCAL listeners want to hear from their favorite popular LOCAL acts because they feel a sense of ownership and pride in making your music as well known as it is. I also can’t believe no one has mentioned people talking during shows. Shut the hell up about your ex-boyfriends cousins best friend who glared at you at a coffee shop 2 weeks ago and remember she was the one who was wearing that super expensive shirt like she was hot shit and like, OMG, that mole on her arm is sooooooo gross. I’m trying to enjoy myself without hearing your coffee talk. If you have to scream over a concert to have a conversation you are in the wrong place.

Chocolate Rice: iTunes.

DJ C.E.O: When people decide that they want to sing along with me! I quickly tell them that this is not a duet. When people are skimming through their iPod looking for a song and skips all the good songs! Just pause it until you’re ready to play something instead of teasing me! When people (mainly my mom) play the same song over, and over, and over again. When I go see an artist live and they let the audience sing a full song. Especially if it’s one of my favorites. When I go to a show and the sound system is POOR. When I go to a party and the DJ takes me on an emotional roller coaster by playing really fast songs followed by really slow ones. Like WTH?

Sarahnade: The chord progression GCD in recorded music. When someone wants to show me a song then talks over it. Quiet music when loud music is equally/more appropriate people at a show who are are completely stoic.

It: I really dislike it when I’m driving in the car and someone can’t just listen to one song all the way though and changes it right when I’m getting into it. Also, people who try to talk to me during concerts; I can’t hear you, I didn’t come to the venue to hear you and unless something crazy is going on you are just hurting my ears by yelling in them.

Chuck: My biggest musical pet peeve is people talking at quiet shows. Story time: July 22, 2009. XX Merge at Cat’s Cradle. The Magnetic Fields begin their (wonderful) set. Live, the band tends to go all acoustic, so it’s pretty quiet. The bands starts, yet above the music everyone can hear lots of loud chatter at the bar in the back. The entire crowd then shushes them and the venue becomes completely silent, allowing for the music to be the only thing anyone heard. It was great.

DJ Ones: My biggest pet peeve comes from my time in the music director world. It irks me so much when someone sends an album to the station that is in terrible packaging. Instead of a proper CD case with clear listings of the track, artist, and album name, they send you this thin slit that hugs the CD. When that thing goes into our library it disappears beside properly packaged CDs. The labels and artists that get the most spins are usually those with the best packaging.

The cookie made me do it.

Many people refer to the vocal style used in death metal as “Cookie Monster vocals.” As a metalhead, I don’t usually use this term, but I am aware of the similarities between the voices of death-metal-ers like Chris Barnes (Cannibal Corpse, Six Feet Under) and the ravenous blue Muppet.

Although I haven’t watched “Sesame Street” in many years, I do remember Cookie Monster…and I believe there may be other links between Cookie Monster and Death Metal music.

Both Cookie Monster and death metal bands are obsessed with particular subjects. But instead of incessantly blathering about cookies, death metal bands tend to stick to their lyrical guns (knives, ice picks, etc.) and write sinister and disturbing music about destruction, mutilation, and of course, death.

This got me to thinking: are cookies evil? Maybe not, but, I know firsthand that they can definitely be used for evil.

When I was a kid, every winter my mom would buy those assorted butter cookies that come in a big blue tin. I always thought it wasn’t much of an assortment because four out of the five varieties tasted exactly the same (though they did come in different shapes).

The only cookies in the tin that I could tolerate were the chocolate chip ones; they were better than the taste-alike ones, but were poor representatives of the chocolate chip cookie ilk. My sister, on the other hand, liked the cookies, and chocolate chip were her favorite, too – they were always the first to go. Just like when we got Neapolitan ice cream: the chocolate portion always disappeared first.

Anyway, one early winter afternoon, I came home to find the first cookie tin of the season sitting on our kitchen table and I had an idea. I grabbed the tin and ran up to my room, emptied its contents onto my bed, and waited for my sister to get home. When she arrived, I snuck back downstairs with the empty tin under my shirt. I caught a glimpse of my sister reclining on the living room couch as I ran into the kitchen.

I placed the cookie tin on the stove and turned the burner on high. After about a minute I figured that the tin was hot enough and I removed it from the flame with potholders and put it on the kitchen table where I had first found it.

I strolled into living room with a satisfied smile on my face and informed my sister that there was a tin of cookies in the kitchen. She immediately headed for them, as I knew she would. Seconds later, I heard a scream and the sound of a hot aluminum hitting dirty linoleum.

Why did I do it? Well, because I was a kid and it seemed hilarious at the time. But…were there any underlying factors at play? Did I do it because my mind had been corrupted by years of listening to death metal?

Nah. I think the real reason is something that crazy blue Muppet knows all too well…those butter cookies are evil.